Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I have aggressive nipples.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
