Sacagawea was the original milf.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You are a genius and a whore.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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