Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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