Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
