State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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