What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
