Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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