if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
