oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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