I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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