it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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