Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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