Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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