One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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