He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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