smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
