I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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