I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
