Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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