Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
