im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
