Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
