He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
