He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
not ubering you a puppy
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
