girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
now i know why i became what i already was.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
