can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
