Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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