there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
