It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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