What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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