"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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