DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
