That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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