hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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