Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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