Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
