we made out on top of his cat.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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