I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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