yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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