I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
