Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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