whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
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