So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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