he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
