I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
