Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
