It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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