In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize