The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
