Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
