how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
