where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
