it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
